Saturday, August 13, 2011

Dogs vs. Babies- A User Guide

Many of you are probably asking yourselves a very common and important question-Should I have a baby or should I get a dog?  I know what a big decision this can be and I am here to help!  I have set up a sort of comparison between the two to help you make the best decision for you.  I'll tell you right now, based on my personal, vast experience.  Both are a lot of work and a lot of reward.  And no matter what you decide, there will surely be a lot of poop.

Eating Habits
For a while, both babies and dogs have a pretty simple diet.  They eat pretty much one meal repeatedly whether it be dry dog food, breast milk, or formula.  (The breast milk and formula are for the babies.)  In the early stages, dogs eat out of bowls, while babies eat out of boobs or bottles.  Eventually, however, babies too can eat out bowls.  Either way, babies' food always requires more dish washing so make sure you consider this if you have an aversion to washing copious amounts of dishes.

Going on Walks
Both babies and dogs enjoy going on walks.  Dogs can walk themselves but they have to be on a leash.  Older babies who can walk themselves have also been seen put on leashes but they have bad parents.  Dogs go on walks because they enjoy them and because this is when they go to the bathroom.  Both babies and dogs, coincidentally, enjoy urinating and pooping in public.  But babies wear diapers until they are potty trained.  You potty train a baby around 2 years old but dogs are potty trained much sooner.  Either way, both have accidents at times.  And you can't just give them away for that.  You have to be patient and loving.

Caged Animals
When it comes to bed time, many people put their dogs in kennels while parents put their babies in cribs.  Unless your pets or babies are super geniuses they pretty much have to stay there until someone lets them out.  During the day, both dogs and babies do have a habit of falling asleep everywhere.  Although, people tend to get more annoyed when their babies don't sleep than when their dogs don't.

Clothing Optional
I would like to say that babies wear clothes while dogs don't but this isn't always the case.  There are some strange people out there that put their dogs in clothes and others who leave their babies naked.

Play Time
Both babies and dogs love to play.  They both slobber, chew on things, and like squeaky toys.  You can find these toys at baby stores or pet stores.  They are pretty much interchangeable.  Just don't tell your friends that your baby is chewing on something that you bought her at Petsmart.  People can be judgemental and mean.  I, for one, would end our friendship on the spot and talk behind your back about what a horrible parent you are.

Bringing a baby or puppy into your life is a big decision.  I would have chosen to have a dog but I don't like animals.  So I went with baby and was surprised and so lucky to get babies!  And every day when Josh talks to my stomach and I feel them wiggling around in there, I know I made the right choice*

*Disclaimer-Please pardon this rare moment of gooey sweetness.

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