Sunday, August 26, 2012

8 Months!

Happy 8 months to my drooly, snotty, lovely monkeys!  This month has been their sickest month yet and they've totally rocked it with hacking coughs and 2 foot strings of snot.  But through this all, they've remained geniuses, continuing their work with Einstein's Theory of Relativity and DVF's new fall line for New York Fashion Week.

Heeeeeere's Josh!

Month 8

Austin and Summer,
For the first time since you were born eight months ago, the biggest excitement was actually about someone other than you guys.  This month (actually last calendar month), you became older cousins for the first time when Aunt Rhianna and Uncle Jason’s baby girl Scarlett was born.  Just like you guys, she came out happy, healthy and perfect.  And now you’ll always have a cousin that’s just about your age for you to be best friends with.  Family get-togethers are officially now taken over by baby insanity.
Speaking of always having best buddies, it looks like the love affair between you guys is starting to take shape.  You now absolutely interact with each other, laugh at each other and talk to each other pretty much all day.  It’s ridiculously cute for your mom and I to be sitting on the couch while you guys are in your bouncers and to hear you start laughing because of something the other one did.  I don’t think anything is better than the sound of you guys laughing at each other.  You also started this adorable game where Austin will start squirming towards Summer and just when he gets within reach, Summer rolls the other direction.  Austin pursues, Summer rolls, you both laugh.  Over and over.  It’s pretty freakin adorable.
You also officially became international travelers this month.  You went on an airplane for the second time, and this time you made it all the way up to America, Jr.  We went to visit family in Toronto and you got a chance to see your Sabba, Aunt Shira, Uncle Gilad, and lots of other great-aunts, great-uncles and second cousins.  I think it’s safe to say that everyone instantly fell in love with both of you, and you have a lot of fans up in the Great White North.
In other news this month, Austin, you have officially gone mobile.  I wouldn’t exactly call it crawling at this point (it honestly looks like you’re doing The Worm), but you can definitely get from point A to point B without much trouble or hesitation.    Especially if there’s a cell phone or computer that you’re trying to get to, you can move really fast.  I’m not sure if that means you’re going to be some kind of tech genius or if you’re just going to be the kind of kid who is always distracted, but both are definite possibilities at this point.  Summy, unless you’re playing the game from above, you like to just sit on your ass and watch Austin wiggle his way around the room.  No crawling on the immediate horizon for you.  Like father, like son; like mother, like daughter.  
You both also ditched your bottles this month in favor of sippy cups.  It’s actually pretty impressive that you guys are capable of holding the cup, deciding when to drink from it, and feeding yourselves.  This is also important because it allows your mommy and me to ignore you for a few extra minutes a day so we can do really important stuff like text people and/or look at Facebook/Twitter.
Other stuff to memorialize from this month:
·       You now both have two teeth
·       You both now talk up a storm.  Your favorite sound is “da” which is nice because when you say it repeatedly, it becomes a series of “dada’s”
·       You’re still fantastic sleepers
·       You both went to your first visits to the doctor for being sick.  You’ve had a cold that won’t go away, but besides the ridiculous amount of snot, it doesn’t seem to affect either of you
·       I wouldn’t say Summer’s stranger danger issues are officially gone, but you seem to be dealing much better with new people and crowds.  You’re well on your way to becoming the social butterfly we all know you’re going to be

Thursday, August 23, 2012

The Perks of Being a Mom

Sometimes being a mom is hard work. 

I've been covered in vomit, pee, poop, snot and weird unidentifiable goopy substance that came from somewhere on my kid's body. 

I've been strolling through Target where the only sound that could be heard for miles is the shrill ear-splitting scream of my darling baby girl.
Do I stop my shopping and admit defeat?  Hell no.  It's go time. They're having a sale on Krispy Kremes and there are new Halloween Sprinkles in the dollar bins. 
Shriek on, little one.

Along with the obvious joy of having children that are gorgeous geniuses, and aside from the strange bodily fluids, there are some pretty cool things about being a mom.

1.  You now have free rein of the Carpool Lane.  So long suckers...I get to drive somewhere faster than you because I'm carpooling with babies.

2.  You can ask for a free toy/cookie/balloon for your kids and reap the benefits of having babies with no teeth.  Thank you Publix supermarkets. 

3.  I now have a stroller that can hold two babies, a diaper bag, a full day's worth of a shopping haul, a large diet coke and an ice cold Frappucino.  Stop and ask me about my amazing stroller.  You won't be the first.

4.  Allow me to introduce you to my Marc by Marc Jacobs Pretty Eliza Diaper bag.  Need I say more?
5.  You can now rightfully judge those women you see as unfit mothers because you have experience.

6.  You can compete with other moms to see whose baby hits different milestones first.  And if it's not your baby...well that other baby can suck it.

7.  Baby shoes.  Tiny, absolutely pointless, probably serve no purpose but to destroy my child's feet before he can walk, baby shoes.

8.  Accessories.  Babies are like accessories with accessories.  Double the fun.

9.  You get to plan a 1st birthday EXTRAVAGANZA!  And all of the other birthdays.  And each year you get to add a zero to the end of the budget from the previous year ensuring that your child will have a Bar or Bat Mitzvah priced in the millions.  If you're not Jewish, seriously consider converting when you have kids.  Did someone just say themed party with a candy table??

10.  And really, one of THE only reasons to have babies.  Tushies.

And don't forget the most important thing about being a mom.  You're still you.  You can still do all of the things you did before you became a mom. 

Do I still lean my head out the window and honk and whistle while the high school boy's Cross Country team runs by?  Hell yes I do.

Monday, August 20, 2012

How to be an Awesome Mom

You might be wondering how I do it every day with two babies that are the same age.  Let me tell you, it's a lot easier than you think.  All it takes is a little patience, a dash of love and a ton of awesome.

Just follow these 10 simple steps:
1.  Do "work" on your computer when your kids are playing so you don't notice when one spits up so that when you look up 5 minutes later there is spit up smeared across the entire playmat and both your children's faces.

2.  When your kids pee on their outfit, gauge how long it will take to dry and compare that to how long it will take you to pick out a new outfit.  Then ignore what I just said because math is hard and let your kid play in his pee pee outfit.

3.  Laugh when your kids fart because it's never going to stop being funny.

4.  Even though you're not leaving the house, change your child's outfit 8 times or until you find something slimming.

5.  When your kids are sick, don't fret.  Sickness comes with snot bubbles.  Snot bubbles are funny like farts.

6.  Teach your children early how to spend smart by taking them on multiple shopping trips a week.  Say it with me AM-EX AM-EX...good babies.

7.  Use nap time wisely by watching reruns of Party of Five.  You should never try to do something productive because as soon as you do, nap time over.

8.  Always wear white when feeding your babies.

9.  Try all the baby food.  Just don't let the babies see you gag on the "Spring Vegetable Mix."

10.  Never stop taking photos of your kids to remember all of the little moments.  Like when you're holding a spoon of sweet potato puree up to your child's mouth and he sneezes.

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