Tuesday, October 11, 2011

My Pregnancy Theories

Because I get ultrasounds once a month, I have about 4 weeks at a time where I have to pretty much speculate what's going on with the twinkadinks and my body.

Currently, I have decided that one of the babies has moved to my right butt cheek.  I don't know how this happened but I can guarantee you on my next visit, they're going to have to ultrasound my butt.  I can barely walk today and thank goodness I know why.  It's great that I'm so logical and intelligent because I don't have to go crying to the doctor anytime something seems off.

Also, I had a tiny mole on the left side of my stomach that is now threatening to become its own planet.  I can't decide if the cause is aliens or if I'm housing a secret galaxy on my stomach circa 1997's Men in Black.

Also, I have lost complete control of my bladder.  In fact, I'm not even sure I have one anymore.  Some women complain of peeing their pants when sneezing or coughing.  Well, I pee my pants when laughing.  Someone online recommended using a maxi pad.  Thank you Florence Henderson, but I don't think a Kotex is going to solve the Niagra Falls issue that happens anytime something mildly amusing occurs. 

So there are a few facts here:
1.  I shouldn't sit anymore because I don't want to squish the butt baby.
2.  Along with thinking of names for the babies, I now have to come up with a name for this planet/galaxy I'm growing.
3.  I'm going to need to stock up on laundry detergent because not only will the babies pee their pants, so will I.

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