Today I had some errands to run including a little trip to the mall. Trips to the mall aren't what they used to be. I used to hear angels sing when I walked through the double automatic doors into the air conditioned hub of platform wedges, cinnamon sugar pretzels, perfume counters and a multitude of shiny, glossy things that I simply. Must. Have.
Now, a trip to the mall involves a bathroom stop every 25 minutes, practically running past the odor that is Bath and Body works so I don't vomit all over the shiny mall floors and watching skinny people try on stilettos that I dream of putting back on my sad little feet that hurt when I stand for more than 5 minutes at a time.
And yet, I still love the mall. Today I was making a trip to buy "dressy" maternity clothes. The PJ thing is awesome but I still need to look human now and then. And yet, spending $300 on maternity clothes isn't anywhere near as exciting as spending $40 on five dresses, 3 pairs of leggings and a1980s reincarnate jean jacket at Forever 21.
The mall was full of pregnant women today. All I could think was, "They don't look nearly as miserable as I feel right now. Maybe they all just ate at Pretzel Time." Meanwhile, I'm walking around having to pee and feeling like my vagina is going to fall off any minute.
Needless to say, I got my clothes, my vagina stayed in tact and I arrived home only a little worse for wear. As I walked up the path to my front door, shopping bag in hand, the bottom of the bag fell out as did all my new clothes. I would have just left them and waited for Josh to pick them up when he got home, but here in Atlanta it can rain at the drop of a hat and I just didn't want to take a chance.
All I can say is thank goodness for internet shopping.