Monday, September 12, 2011

Twinkadinks With a Side of Fries

I have a love affair with McDonalds.  It started as soon as I could put one of their golden crispy french fries in my mouth.  I beg Josh to go there all the time now that I'm pregnant (an excuse to eat that crap, I suppose) and every time he tells me no.  He could care less about my happiness and would rather watch me suffer while choking down a nectarine.
In my 31 years of living, I have only ever eaten McNuggets and french fries at McDonalds.  No need for burgers or other frivolous nonsense.  I know what I like and I stick to it.  I even sent several nicely worded complaint letters (okay, hate mail) to McDonalds in 2004 when they switched to all white meat in their nuggets.  I don't go there because it's healthy and I'm not going to support someone trying to make it that way.
So now for the very special news I have to share with you.  Yesterday, Josh and I went on our hospital tour to get the ins and outs of what will happen on the day that the kids decide to make their debut.  I was especially pleased when the tour guide explained that in the hospital "the mom is boss."  I looked pointedly at Josh as he rolled his eyes and nodded, "I know."  So even though I won't exactly be wearing pants, I'll be wearing the pants, if you know what I mean.  My hospital is super nice and friendly and they have a baby store and a bra store and vending machines.  Who doesn't appreciate a good vending machine?  BUT-guess what else they have??

I'm lovin' it, bitches.
Yes, that's right.  THERE IS A MCDONALDS IN MY HOSPITAL.  So that means after I deliver the twinks, I expect extra large fries, McNuggets and a vanilla shake delivered to my bedside, pronto.  And Josh can kiss my french fry lovin' ass if he doesn't think he's getting me McDonalds on delivery day.  Got that Honey Bunches of Oats?  You're going DOWN-and I mean to the 1st floor of the main hospital, next to the hospital cafeteria and getting me that paper bag filled with golden fried goodness.  Because guess what else?  The hospital McDonalds is open 23 hours a day.  And if I calculate spending 3-5 days in the hospital, well, that's a hell of a lot of McDonalds for me.  I'm lovin' it.

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