Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Let Me Eat Cake.

You hear stories about husbands leaving bed at 2am to go get their pregnant wives curly fries or pickled beets-whatever her hormonal heart desires.  This is not my husband.  My husband is a villainous monster who wishes me 9 months of misery munching on cauliflower and grilled chicken breast.  Yesterday, before Josh left the office, I IMed him a little request.    4:33 PMme: can you bring me a piece of carrot cake?
 josh: sorry honey
4:34 PM me: please?
 josh: i love you, but no
4:35 PM me: just one piece?
 josh: sorry my love
 me: why are you insensitive to my needs?
4:36 PM josh: i'm very sensitive to your needs
4:37 PM me: it's not fair for your wife not to get a sweet
4:38 PM josh: you get a lot of sweets honey
 me: :(  At this point  I decided to send some persuasive emails to Josh.  I'd start with naked pictures but unfortunately I don't think they'd be an enticing argument for getting me carrot cake.  So I sent the following:

Subject: It's a vegetable                                                                        4:43 PM


Subject: Why don't you love me?                                                         4:44 PM

Subject: You're ruining my life                                                            4:45 PM

11 minutes
4:50 PM      josh: cute honey
 me: i have no idea what you're talking about
 josh: but i'm still sorry
 me: you are. you are a sorry human being
 josh: you've had a lot of desserts. we can take a day off
  i just want our babies to be healthy and you to be healthy. the doc said not so much sugar, so i want to follow his orders
4:51 PM me: this has nothing to do with you so don't say "We"
  the doctor is retarded
 josh: ok
 me: our babies just learned the F word
  can you come home already?
4:52 PM josh: i'll get on the 515 if you're nice
 me: only if i'm nice?
  what about you?
 josh: yes. otherwise i will stay here and hide
4:53 PM me: don't hide from me! because I'D FIND YOU  When Josh got home later he told me he had a surprise for me.  I looked to see if he had anything bulging out of his pockets.  Then I realized he brought his computer home."Wait, you're working from home tomorrow?? Yay!! cake then?"     


  1. you'll need to establish and maintain a stash somewhere in your house ;)

  2. Im ten weeks pregnant and thinking about forming a pregnant womens rights union based on your husband lol

  3. Wait, you don't eat carrots but you like carrot cake?

  4. Jenna, I actually do eat carrots just not anything with the word "salad" in it. Or most green things. Or things in a shell. Usually if there's "cake" in the title, I'll give it a go :)

  5. I remember how Crazy the hubby was the first pregnancy with rules, no you cant have any coke not even a taste etc.etc. This time at the doctor instead of listening to the doctors orders he's on his phone playing angry birds. He figures I did great the first time we are pros now.

  6. Dreama,
    Thanks great! Now I just need to figure out how to get Josh hooked on Angry Birds...


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