Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Painting Your Belly Like a Pumpkin is a Stupid Idea

September is finally here.  While some may celebrate the general end of summer and beginning of fall, I am most excited about the fact that Halloween is less than 2 months away.  Josh has decided to ruin Halloween for me in multiple ways:
1.  He runs marathons on Halloween weekend which means we can't go to any parties and have to eat pasta and be in bed before 10pm.
2.  The most creative "costume" he's ever willingly worn was a pair of glasses.  He said he was Clark Kent.
3.  He reminds me that in 2 months, I probably won't be up for doing much trick or treating.  He doesn't outwardly say I'll be too fat to function but I know that's the meaning behind his words.

So in spite of the many obstacles, I am still excited about my favorite holiday.  While brainstorming, I realize that my costumes from the past years don't exactly work anymore- sexy Little Miss Muffet, sexy nurse, sexy french maid...you can see the trend.  Pregnancy is a lot of things but I don't necessarily consider it sexy nurse material.

Back when I was "sexy", and apparently didn't believe the sun could give you skin cancer.

So here I am today weighing in at a little more than back then, and trying to figure out the perfect costume.  I could go with the standard "bun in the oven" or pregnant nun IF I wanted to be super lame.  But I want to be more creative. 

Juno's adorable and I could totally rock the skirt and the belly.  Random side note-do you know that more than half of the maternity clothes I've looked at have horizontal stripes? Who on earth came up with that idea?  Some size zero designer out there is laughing at all us pregnant women tottering down the street in our not-so-figure-friendly striped tanks. 

Aside from being perfect for Halloween, the next costume could also be a good career move for me.  I've considered getting into the business of "super-heroing" but am not really sure how to take the first step.  I'm thinking I should just have my costume made and have Halloween be my first night on the job.
It's a bird! It's a plane! No! It's a pregnant woman in spandex!
I was googling pregnancy costume ideas and came across an About.com article titled "6 Great Halloween Costumes for Pregnant Woman."  Their first suggestion was a pregnant penguin.  Listen people. just because you add the word pregnant before a costume idea does not mean it's a good idea for a pregnant person.  Although, their last suggestion was by far the most ingenious. 
"If you aren't super pregnant, you might just want to aim for loose fitting and fun. Some characters in this category include The Pilsbury Doughboy, Humpty Dumpty, a marsh mellow, eggplant, baby, etc."
Riiiight....I totally want to go for "loose fitting and fun" by dressing as the Pilsbury Doughboy.  Why on earth didn't I think of that on my own?  Or how about a marshmallow?  That should get my husband's juices flowing!  I could hear him talking to the guys now-"Hey, did you check out my hot pregnant wife-the MARSHMALLOW?"

So thanks About.com for the awesome suggestions, but I think I'm going to continue doing my research. 

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