Many pregnant women expect a "push present" after carrying and delivering baby. This can be jewelry, something engraved...pretty much any bauble you can put a price tag on and some sentimental value.
Well, I've decided that my husband deserves a "dealing with the psycho bitch" present. Aside from blaming my craziness on the obvious pregnancy hormones, I think I'm just plain crazy.
Last night, I got up to go to the bathrooms and peed ON THE WAY. Apparently, I truly need a diaper now. I wasn't even laughing. It just happened. Then I realized, all my "fat" underwear were in the laundry as well as my comfy pajama pants.
So I threw a full-out fit. I hit the wall, I threw my pajama pants on the floor and I cried. I tried on underwear and then screamed that they were too tight as I stuffed them back in the drawer.
Josh offered to do my laundry. I told him no but he did it anyway. Then I yelled at him for doing it wrong.
Then I spent 5 minutes pulling at the waistband of my pants willing them to stretch as I tossed and turned all over the couch groaning and whining.
Finally, I did what any reasonable person in this situation would do. I asked Josh to get a knife from the kitchen and perform a C-Section on me. I yelled, "I WANT THEM OUT NOW! GET THEM OUT OF ME!!"
At this point, I was exhausted and I'm sure Josh was ready to leave for a 2 week vacation to the Bahamas. So I stopped huffing and puffing and tried to relax with minimal complaining.
And here I am, a day later, back to "normal." Josh probably walks in the door every evening wondering who's going to greet him at the door-the woman he fell in love with and married, or the incredible pregnant hulk.