I've mentioned before how much I love McDonald's. This has nothing to do with pregnancy. This is just pure golden arches love. Well, a couple of months ago I had very slow service at the McDonald's drive-thru. I'm talking 15 minutes for 3 cars slow. I would have gotten out of the line but I was blocked in by a car in front and a car in back plus I really wanted my freakin' fries.
So I waited, ate my fries on the way home, and promptly wrote an email to the online complaint department at McDonald's.
Lo and behold, today I received a phone call from a Ms. Juanita (apparently some bigwig at McDonald's) who told me she would like to offer me a free meal at the offending location! I was so excited, I was practically dancing when I got off the phone. Josh asked what the good news was and I did a little raise the roof while I sing songed, "I got a free meal at McDonald's I got a free meal at McDonald's!" Josh rolled his eyes and went back to his post-Yom Kippur football viewing.
But now I'm stuck in a bit of a conundrum. You see, Juanita said that I could get a free meal but I didn't ask her what was included in this alleged meal. I mean, I'm pregnant. What might be a "meal" to some could be a mere snack for my belly full of babes.
I'm going to assume it means I get an appetizer, drink, nuggets, fries, and dessert. And maybe an extra dessert. Just because. I mean, Juanita even said how nice my complaint letter was. She was complimenting me on complaining!
Yeah, I know how to get sh*t done.
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Friday, October 7, 2011
Like it or Not
I often wonder what our kids will be like. Aside from what they'll look like (straight brown hair, not that tall, cute as hell...) I really can't wait to know their little personalities. I definitely have some of both my parents in me and Josh definitely has some of both his parents in him so I decided to compile a list of our likes to see if maybe the things we appreciate will be things our kids will appreciate, or if we'll have to brainwash them.
Of course, our kids will develop their own list of "likes" or we'll end up with two cake eating, Disney watching, spreadsheet making Vegas gamblers with a football addiction.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
What Would I Do All Day Without Pinterest?
This morning on Pinterest I found the following picture:
The suggestion for the photo is to take a picture of your baby sitting in the food you craved most during pregnancy. Super cute and all but what if you craved guacamole?
I'd be sticking one kid in a bowl of Israeli pickles and the other in a bowl of McDonald's chicken nuggets and french fries.
I get how this idea would be cute if I craved fruit loops...
The suggestion for the photo is to take a picture of your baby sitting in the food you craved most during pregnancy. Super cute and all but what if you craved guacamole?
I'd be sticking one kid in a bowl of Israeli pickles and the other in a bowl of McDonald's chicken nuggets and french fries.
I get how this idea would be cute if I craved fruit loops...
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
My Love/Hate Relationship With the Mall
Today I had some errands to run including a little trip to the mall. Trips to the mall aren't what they used to be. I used to hear angels sing when I walked through the double automatic doors into the air conditioned hub of platform wedges, cinnamon sugar pretzels, perfume counters and a multitude of shiny, glossy things that I simply. Must. Have.
Now, a trip to the mall involves a bathroom stop every 25 minutes, practically running past the odor that is Bath and Body works so I don't vomit all over the shiny mall floors and watching skinny people try on stilettos that I dream of putting back on my sad little feet that hurt when I stand for more than 5 minutes at a time.
And yet, I still love the mall. Today I was making a trip to buy "dressy" maternity clothes. The PJ thing is awesome but I still need to look human now and then. And yet, spending $300 on maternity clothes isn't anywhere near as exciting as spending $40 on five dresses, 3 pairs of leggings and a1980s reincarnate jean jacket at Forever 21.
The mall was full of pregnant women today. All I could think was, "They don't look nearly as miserable as I feel right now. Maybe they all just ate at Pretzel Time." Meanwhile, I'm walking around having to pee and feeling like my vagina is going to fall off any minute.
Needless to say, I got my clothes, my vagina stayed in tact and I arrived home only a little worse for wear. As I walked up the path to my front door, shopping bag in hand, the bottom of the bag fell out as did all my new clothes. I would have just left them and waited for Josh to pick them up when he got home, but here in Atlanta it can rain at the drop of a hat and I just didn't want to take a chance.
All I can say is thank goodness for internet shopping.
Now, a trip to the mall involves a bathroom stop every 25 minutes, practically running past the odor that is Bath and Body works so I don't vomit all over the shiny mall floors and watching skinny people try on stilettos that I dream of putting back on my sad little feet that hurt when I stand for more than 5 minutes at a time.
And yet, I still love the mall. Today I was making a trip to buy "dressy" maternity clothes. The PJ thing is awesome but I still need to look human now and then. And yet, spending $300 on maternity clothes isn't anywhere near as exciting as spending $40 on five dresses, 3 pairs of leggings and a1980s reincarnate jean jacket at Forever 21.
The mall was full of pregnant women today. All I could think was, "They don't look nearly as miserable as I feel right now. Maybe they all just ate at Pretzel Time." Meanwhile, I'm walking around having to pee and feeling like my vagina is going to fall off any minute.
Needless to say, I got my clothes, my vagina stayed in tact and I arrived home only a little worse for wear. As I walked up the path to my front door, shopping bag in hand, the bottom of the bag fell out as did all my new clothes. I would have just left them and waited for Josh to pick them up when he got home, but here in Atlanta it can rain at the drop of a hat and I just didn't want to take a chance.
All I can say is thank goodness for internet shopping.
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Wall Art With a Message
I have just enough time to write this post while my lunch of champions (Kraft Mac n' Cheese) is boiling away.
I've previously discussed designing the twinks' nursery with many incredible ideas. We truly are in the final stages of design and now I'm focusing all of my attention on wall art. I could be focusing it on organizing the closet, but I need room in there to store the children if necessary so I don't want to mess with it too much.
There's tons of cute wall art out there for children's nurseries but a lot of it is a bit too fluffy for my taste. I like things simple and bold-like original Doritos. I thought about putting multiple Doritos bags around the walls of the nursery but they just didn't go with the bedding.
*Very cool slightly dangerous sidenote: if you microwave a small empty chip bag for about 5 seconds, it shrinks down to barbie size. There will be some sparks and fear of your microwave blowing up, (that's why I use the one at the convenient store) but it's totally worth it when you see that cutesy mini chip bag come out all sparky and happy.
So when it comes to wall art I'd like to show you something circulating the stores like a California wildfire.
I hate this sign. I am so tired of seeing this damn sign everywhere. The original phrase was put out by the British during the 2nd world war to encourage people to get through the day. That's a fine message and all but jeez louise people, move on! For all we know, some company is printing this phrase on toilet paper as I type.
So by my obvious disdain, this sign is not going up in our nursery. However, I have found a couple of alternatives that I can actually put up with.
What do you think of this one? I like the simple message and the fact that it's slightly twisted.
The next one is great too! It has a bit more detailed directions as well...
The only problem with this one is it says, "panic, dumbass" and we're having two children so I think maybe I should find someone who can change it to "panic, dumbasses."
Decisions, decisions...
I've previously discussed designing the twinks' nursery with many incredible ideas. We truly are in the final stages of design and now I'm focusing all of my attention on wall art. I could be focusing it on organizing the closet, but I need room in there to store the children if necessary so I don't want to mess with it too much.
There's tons of cute wall art out there for children's nurseries but a lot of it is a bit too fluffy for my taste. I like things simple and bold-like original Doritos. I thought about putting multiple Doritos bags around the walls of the nursery but they just didn't go with the bedding.
*Very cool slightly dangerous sidenote: if you microwave a small empty chip bag for about 5 seconds, it shrinks down to barbie size. There will be some sparks and fear of your microwave blowing up, (that's why I use the one at the convenient store) but it's totally worth it when you see that cutesy mini chip bag come out all sparky and happy.
So when it comes to wall art I'd like to show you something circulating the stores like a California wildfire.
I hate this sign. I am so tired of seeing this damn sign everywhere. The original phrase was put out by the British during the 2nd world war to encourage people to get through the day. That's a fine message and all but jeez louise people, move on! For all we know, some company is printing this phrase on toilet paper as I type.
So by my obvious disdain, this sign is not going up in our nursery. However, I have found a couple of alternatives that I can actually put up with.
What do you think of this one? I like the simple message and the fact that it's slightly twisted.
The next one is great too! It has a bit more detailed directions as well...
The only problem with this one is it says, "panic, dumbass" and we're having two children so I think maybe I should find someone who can change it to "panic, dumbasses."
Decisions, decisions...
Monday, October 3, 2011
I am Not Wonderwoman But I am Still The Queen of the World
My life is awesome. I have it pretty damn good. Some days however, everyone just feels peed on, you know? Some days I feel like I can take on the world and other days I cry because I don't have clean underwear. So today I'd like to offer a humble post of things that I am no longer capable of doing as my pregnant self.
1. I can't button sweaters-not even the one button under the boobs. Luckily I've packed on some winter blubber so I no longer feel the need to button sweaters. But I have this really cute little yellow sweater that ties in a bow that I can no longer wear. I miss you yellow sweater. And I still love you. You're just made for the me that had abs.
2. I can't eat like it's Thanksgiving- I don't really know where my stomach is anymore. I'm assuming it's somewhere above my butt or in my throat. Either way, it doesn't hold as much as it used to. It's super sad really, because second helpings aren't as much of an option anymore. And I actually have to save room for dessert. Who wants to plan ahead like that? I just want to eat like a pig and then complain about how fat I am to Josh later. Is that too much to ask
3. I can't remember important things- like right now I can't remember the example I was going to type here to explain how I can't remember things.
4. I can't say the F word enough- I don't know what it is but there is nothing like the F word. It is the best word ever. It's a noun, verb, adjective, expletive...It's F-ing amazing. I know there will be a time when my children will be able to talk and repeat what I say. Luckily I have a few more months before I have to think about making an F-ing change.
5. I can't see my lady parts- Sure I can look in the mirror, but it's just not the same. Where did my cooch go? I feel so alone in the world.
6. I can't remember a time I felt so grateful for all of the "can'ts." Not being able to do these things mean that I get to do so many other things soon with my little twinkadinks and their amazing dad. I can't F-ing wait.
I can't believe how long it's been since I've sucked in for a picture.
1. I can't button sweaters-not even the one button under the boobs. Luckily I've packed on some winter blubber so I no longer feel the need to button sweaters. But I have this really cute little yellow sweater that ties in a bow that I can no longer wear. I miss you yellow sweater. And I still love you. You're just made for the me that had abs.
2. I can't eat like it's Thanksgiving- I don't really know where my stomach is anymore. I'm assuming it's somewhere above my butt or in my throat. Either way, it doesn't hold as much as it used to. It's super sad really, because second helpings aren't as much of an option anymore. And I actually have to save room for dessert. Who wants to plan ahead like that? I just want to eat like a pig and then complain about how fat I am to Josh later. Is that too much to ask
3. I can't remember important things- like right now I can't remember the example I was going to type here to explain how I can't remember things.
4. I can't say the F word enough- I don't know what it is but there is nothing like the F word. It is the best word ever. It's a noun, verb, adjective, expletive...It's F-ing amazing. I know there will be a time when my children will be able to talk and repeat what I say. Luckily I have a few more months before I have to think about making an F-ing change.
5. I can't see my lady parts- Sure I can look in the mirror, but it's just not the same. Where did my cooch go? I feel so alone in the world.
6. I can't remember a time I felt so grateful for all of the "can'ts." Not being able to do these things mean that I get to do so many other things soon with my little twinkadinks and their amazing dad. I can't F-ing wait.
I can't believe how long it's been since I've sucked in for a picture.
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Go the F*ck to Sleep
Today is a very exciting day on Twinkadinks. It's my first book review! What gives me the right to review books do you ask? I'm a super awesome genius, that's what.
Today's book is one I'm sure will soon be a classic, taking after ingenious works such as Good Night Moon and Where the Wild Things Are.
This work of brilliance is entitled Go the F*ck to Sleep and is written by Adam Mansbach who typically writes thoughtful and insightful adult novels. This is his first "children's" book. Some may say this is a novelty book for adults but I truly believe this book can be enjoyed by everyone-young and old alike!
As a 6 year veteran of teaching elementary school I follow the firm belief that reading aloud to your child encourages a love of reading and a higher level of comprehension. And it totally helps that this book rhymes.
Every kid loves animals and stuffed bears. It's like it was written for YOUR kid. I highly recommend you get this book and read it to your children so they too will love reading as much as you do. Also, Mr. Mansbach, if you happen to be an avid reader, please send me a copy of your book as I am too cheap to buy my own. Kisses!
Today's book is one I'm sure will soon be a classic, taking after ingenious works such as Good Night Moon and Where the Wild Things Are.
This work of brilliance is entitled Go the F*ck to Sleep and is written by Adam Mansbach who typically writes thoughtful and insightful adult novels. This is his first "children's" book. Some may say this is a novelty book for adults but I truly believe this book can be enjoyed by everyone-young and old alike!
As a 6 year veteran of teaching elementary school I follow the firm belief that reading aloud to your child encourages a love of reading and a higher level of comprehension. And it totally helps that this book rhymes.
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