So I'm 16 weeks pregnant and still relatively normal. When do I go off the deep end? Will pregnancy brain kick in on hyper drive some day when I least expect it and I run off offending hundreds of people, or even worse, eat a vegetable?? Although, to the average person, I might seem insane. I wear pajamas most days as they fit best. So I'm wandering around Brookhaven looking like a fat hobo. I eat as though every meal is my last. I spend my days waiting for my next meal. I'm like a dog with a gut.
And every day I think about the two munchkins growing inside me. Will they be normal and sensible like Josh? Or will they be totally pissed when a presidential address interrupts the new episode of The Bachelorette? I mean, who does that? There's only one episode left! If I wanted to watch the president say something I'd turn on CNN or CSpan. But no people, I'm watching ABC. And now what's going to happen to my recording of Extreme Makover: Weight Loss Edition? I'll tell you what happened, I stayed up until midnight watching Extreme Makeover not knowing how to record it, only to watch the woman still be obese at the end. It's like dreaming about eating cake only to wake up and find out you don't have cake.
Okay, maybe that's a terrible example but I could really go for a piece of cake right now. Instead I'm going to have two Smart Ones meals. One for me, and one for the babies. That's normal, right? I mean, I'm not ruling out cake. It's just that we don't have any and I don't feel like going out in my pajamas again to get cake. After I have the babies I'm going to start a new business of a drive through cakery. That way, when you get the urge for cake, you could slip out of the house in your negligee and no one has to be the wiser! This is totally my idea but if you steal it, just let me know where you open up shop so I can stop by. Or, worst case scenario, I'm fine if someone wants to open a Krispy Kreme near me. That would suffice.