Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Are You Teething...or Just a Bitch?

One thing that's difficult about 6 month old babies is that they can't talk. 
So rather than have a normal conversation like human beings, it goes something like this:

Baby: eeehh bbammmm gggghh
Me: Did you poop in your pants?
Baby: eeefg mmmmmm
Me: M effer.  Are you serious? I just changed your diaper like 3 hours ago!
Me: We're not going to have a conversation like this.  If you want to communicate, use your words.
Baby: eeeeeeeeee mmmmfbbbbb ttt *burp
Me:  This is ridiculous.  I've had better conversations with the cat.
Cat: meow.
Me: Cat, where have you been?  I seriously thought you were lying dead somewhere.
Cat: meow.
Me: I hate you, Cat.
Other Baby: eg ge ge ge
Me: No, you can't have my Diet Coke.  It's the only thing keeping me alive right now.
Other Baby: fffmdd aaaah aah
Me: I feel ya dude.  Here have some formula.

This conversation continues for about 8 hours.  There are all of these research people that say that babies have specific cries for different things. 
But I think they're full of it.  Who seriously sits around all day and analyzes a three month old's cries to identify what the baby needs when it's not even their child? 
That sounds like the worst job ever.  That, and working at Krispy Kreme while you're on a diet.  But that just sounds ridiculous.  Unless you're on a Krispy Kreme diet and in that case, great job choice!

Speaking of Krispy Kreme, I think this blog is in dire need of some food porn shots.

My kind of Red Light District    

Psycho Krispy Kreme Poster Child.


1 comment:

  1. The krispy kreme chick freaks me out.


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