Stupid Shows I Will Not be Seeing

Everyone knows that life after baby, or in our case, babies, changes dramatically.  We won't be going out so often or have the freedom to make last minute plans.  The lack of freedom might upset some new parents but I'm actually very excited that I won't be exposed to the crap that will be showing in Atlanta in January:

1. Cavalia/Odysseo-the live Cirque de Soleil-like horse and human show.  If that doesn't turn you off, their website's description might:
The spellbinding show is a renewed tribute to the relationship humans and horses have forged over thousands of years. With our faithful companions by our side, we have travelled to the four corners of the globe, built bridges between cultures and brought people from all over the planet closer together. Odysseo is a singular expression and celebration of this exceptionally moving journey.

I seriously just threw up in my mouth.  And I don't think it was the acid reflux.
Did I mention how much I hate horses?

2. War Horse (a movie directed by Steven Spielberg)
IMDB description: Young Albert enlists to service in WWI after his beloved horse, Joey, is sold to the cavalry.
My description: a ridiculous love story between a boy and a smelly horse

I don't really have anything else to say about this.  ET was cuter than this horse. 

I once told Josh that I didn't understand the importance of horses and he brought up this whole barfy argument about how they were the first mode of travel and communication between people and a way to trade with other communities. 
ET was cuter than Josh, too.

'Tis the Season

Well, folks.  It's December.
Great things are happening this month.
It's Christmas!  It's Hannukah!  The babies are coming!

This is the month where I light Hannukah candles and listen to Christmas music.  I'm a Jew who's a sucker for everything Christmas. 

Like Christmas in the Mall!  Who doesn't love walking into Macy's in December?  With the wreaths hanging and all the shiny jewelry just calling out to you, "Buy me!  Spend all your money here!  Don't worry, you have a money tree!"

It seriously is the most wonderful time of the year.  Until New Year's Eve.  And then Valentines Day and every other holiday because I love celebrations.  And cake.

So I was looking online for places to go see Christmas lights.  I have a lot of free time on my hands and don't know if I'll even go see Christmas lights but I at least wanted options.

Well, turns out there are lights and carriage rides in Piedmont Park in midtown.  Let me tell you the problem with this option, as romantic as it sounds.  Carriages are pulled by horses.  If you're a reader of my blog you know a simple fact about me.  I hate horses.  I have listed the reasons before but let me just give you my favorite one.  Horses smell like their own sh*t.  I mean, I probably wouldn't hang out with a person that smelled like that so I don't understand why horses should be any different.

So I'm still looking for good light displays.  Preferably ones that go with music.  And maybe have a menorah and dreidels.  I'm all about equal opportunities.

In other news:
We got another baby gift yesterday.  Sort of.

Here is the packing slip that came with the gift:

Based on the packing slip, I suspected 2 slip covers for our babies' Boppy pillows.  (Don't get me started on stupid baby product names-Boppy, Bumbo, Binky...)

But instead, this is what came in our package:

Way to go Babies R Us.  You rock at shipping.  And, even more disappointing, these say for ages 6 and up.  So the babies can't even use them yet.

I am thoroughly disappointed and totally buying a nerf gun to shoot Josh in the head.