Sunday, February 19, 2012

Revenge is Sweet

I was talking to my hairdresser the other day about the ABC show Revenge.  I am in love with this show.  An entire week went by in which I don't remember watching my kids because I was busy watching Revenge.  They're sitting next to me now so I assume they made it through the week okay.

I am obsessed with the show for multiple reasons:
1.  I am always devising elaborate schemes to keep my life busy and full of excitement.
2.  It's filmed in the Hamptons where I plan to buy my third summer home and play tennis with my hot instructor named Damon who is always shirtless and covered in oil.
3.  I plan on becoming a billionaire and donating to numerous causes just so I can attend the tented ocean-front galas supporting the numerous causes and wear sexy gowns and killer Louboutins.

So I decided to talk to Josh about my plans.

Me: So you know how I love the show Revenge?

Josh: Yeah

Me: Well, I've decided that I'm going to plan an insanely elaborate, devious and scandalous revenge.

Josh: okay...

Me:  It's totally  an awesome idea.  I just have to start coordinating the plans in my head and organize my unsuspecting targets.

Josh:  I think you're better off keeping all these ideas in your head.

Me: What do you mean?  This will be incredible!  Who will suspect a mom of newborn twins to be executing such a tangled web of retribution?

Josh:  I think you think you're sneakier than you actually are.

Me:  Enough.  We never had this conversation.  I don't want you involved any more than you already are.

Now all I need to do is learn fluent Japanese, some sort of ancient martial art, buy a new wardrobe and find an adversary worthy of my intention.


  1. I just watched the latest episode of Revenge. :) hehe :)

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  6. I'll be your adversary, if you'd like. I'm fond of creating elaborate schemes in my head, too. Also I don't really like you but only in that way that I don't like you because it's fun not to like you because I actually like you a lot, but you're quite the direct opposite of me in your actions and way of thought. Also, I'm currently pregnant and psychotic and think you'd make a worthy adversary. Do consider my offer, I look forward to your response.

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