Monday, August 20, 2012

How to be an Awesome Mom

You might be wondering how I do it every day with two babies that are the same age.  Let me tell you, it's a lot easier than you think.  All it takes is a little patience, a dash of love and a ton of awesome.

Just follow these 10 simple steps:
1.  Do "work" on your computer when your kids are playing so you don't notice when one spits up so that when you look up 5 minutes later there is spit up smeared across the entire playmat and both your children's faces.

2.  When your kids pee on their outfit, gauge how long it will take to dry and compare that to how long it will take you to pick out a new outfit.  Then ignore what I just said because math is hard and let your kid play in his pee pee outfit.

3.  Laugh when your kids fart because it's never going to stop being funny.

4.  Even though you're not leaving the house, change your child's outfit 8 times or until you find something slimming.

5.  When your kids are sick, don't fret.  Sickness comes with snot bubbles.  Snot bubbles are funny like farts.

6.  Teach your children early how to spend smart by taking them on multiple shopping trips a week.  Say it with me AM-EX AM-EX...good babies.

7.  Use nap time wisely by watching reruns of Party of Five.  You should never try to do something productive because as soon as you do, nap time over.

8.  Always wear white when feeding your babies.

9.  Try all the baby food.  Just don't let the babies see you gag on the "Spring Vegetable Mix."

10.  Never stop taking photos of your kids to remember all of the little moments.  Like when you're holding a spoon of sweet potato puree up to your child's mouth and he sneezes.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...