9 Months and Fabulous

Who can believe the babies are just 3 months shy of a year?  That probably isn't nearly as surprising as how much I suck at blogging.  I think the last time I blogged, my kids were still in diapers.  Okay, they're still still in diapers but you know what I mean.

Take it away, hubs...

Month 9

Austin and Summer,

The other day we were with your cousin Brandon and something came up in conversation that made us explain to him that a few weeks of time in the life of a baby makes such a difference in what they are doing because at 9 months old, two weeks is about 5% of your entire lives, whereas for the rest of us, two weeks is pretty much just two weeks.  That conversation made me reflect a little bit on the past year.

Last September 22, I was working at CNN.  Your mom was about 5 months pregnant.  We were living in Brookhaven.  I could watch football pretty much whenever I wanted.  And your mom liked when I went on 3 hour training runs because it meant she could watch whatever crap TV she chose.

This September 22, I am working at Sharecare.  Your mom is obviously no longer pregnant.  We are living in Dunwoody.  I basically haven’t watched any football this year aside from Canes games and the Saturday night games that start after you guys are asleep.  And those 3 hour training runs now can’t end soon enough for mommy because that means I’ll be home to help out with you crazy kids.

For any normal adult, that’s a MASSIVE amount of change.  Like, the most change humanly possible to experience in a year.  But 9 months ago, you guys were tiny little creatures that were only a quarter of the size you are now.  You could barely eat.  You slept in two hour increments.  You couldn’t move at all. 

And now you’re starting to get so big that you’re almost not even babies anymore.  Austin, you are crawling and are able to get pretty much wherever you want to go.  Summer, we played music on one of your toys yesterday and you were totally dancing to it.  You can both stand up for long periods of time if you have something to balance on.  You’ve both traveled internationally.  You both eat real adult food.  Like, full-on, adult taste bud kind of food.  You’ve eaten fajita seasoned chicken and rice, coconut curry chicken, Italian sausage and bell peppers, butternut squash and sage tortellini, Israeli salad, pumpkin risotto, and so much more.  You have become, dare I say, real people.

Every time I look at you guys and see you do something new or unexpected, it makes me so proud to be your daddy.  Sometimes it’s also easy to get frustrated.  Like when Summer cried for two straight hours when we were at Rosh Hashanah dinner because she hates being around people.  Or when Austin tries to pull out Summer’s hair every five minutes of the day because it’s there.  But then I remember that you’re just these little people who are still learning how the world works, and all that frustration goes away because, just when we think you might have turned into some kind of devil-child, you go and do something hilarious or adorable and totally redeem yourselves.

It’s all part of this crazy parenthood thing.  We want you to stay at this age forever because you are so perfect and we can’t imagine it getting any better.  But then a week later we realize that it’s only gotten that much more fun.  We can’t wait for all of the amazing adventures we have to look forward to with you.  We just hope it doesn’t go by as fast as these past 9 months.

Love,

Daddy

What else happened this month?

You guys dressed up in Canes outfits for the first four games of the season (we went 3-1 and our only loss was the game where mommy dressed Summy in the wrong outfit)

Daddy got a year older

Summy had her first medical procedure.  She got her tear duct opened, which I initially thought would be a major part of what I’d write about this month but ended up being a lot of unnecessary nervous build-up for your mom and dad but ultimately just a 90 second procedure that went perfectly well

Your NaNa and Papa came to visit (again)

You started music class and go every week with your Aunt Aimee

Vital Stats

Nine month weight: Austin – 18lb, 14oz; Summer- 17lb, 3oz

Nine month height: Austin –  27 3/4in      Summer – 26 1/2in

8 Months!

Happy 8 months to my drooly, snotty, lovely monkeys!  This month has been their sickest month yet and they've totally rocked it with hacking coughs and 2 foot strings of snot.  But through this all, they've remained geniuses, continuing their work with Einstein's Theory of Relativity and DVF's new fall line for New York Fashion Week.

Heeeeeere's Josh!

Month 8

Austin and Summer,

For the first time since you were born eight months ago, the biggest excitement was actually about someone other than you guys.  This month (actually last calendar month), you became older cousins for the first time when Aunt Rhianna and Uncle Jason’s baby girl Scarlett was born.  Just like you guys, she came out happy, healthy and perfect.  And now you’ll always have a cousin that’s just about your age for you to be best friends with.  Family get-togethers are officially now taken over by baby insanity.

Speaking of always having best buddies, it looks like the love affair between you guys is starting to take shape.  You now absolutely interact with each other, laugh at each other and talk to each other pretty much all day.  It’s ridiculously cute for your mom and I to be sitting on the couch while you guys are in your bouncers and to hear you start laughing because of something the other one did.  I don’t think anything is better than the sound of you guys laughing at each other.  You also started this adorable game where Austin will start squirming towards Summer and just when he gets within reach, Summer rolls the other direction.  Austin pursues, Summer rolls, you both laugh.  Over and over.  It’s pretty freakin adorable.

You also officially became international travelers this month.  You went on an airplane for the second time, and this time you made it all the way up to America, Jr.  We went to visit family in Toronto and you got a chance to see your Sabba, Aunt Shira, Uncle Gilad, and lots of other great-aunts, great-uncles and second cousins.  I think it’s safe to say that everyone instantly fell in love with both of you, and you have a lot of fans up in the Great White North.

In other news this month, Austin, you have officially gone mobile.  I wouldn’t exactly call it crawling at this point (it honestly looks like you’re doing The Worm), but you can definitely get from point A to point B without much trouble or hesitation.    Especially if there’s a cell phone or computer that you’re trying to get to, you can move really fast.  I’m not sure if that means you’re going to be some kind of tech genius or if you’re just going to be the kind of kid who is always distracted, but both are definite possibilities at this point.  Summy, unless you’re playing the game from above, you like to just sit on your ass and watch Austin wiggle his way around the room.  No crawling on the immediate horizon for you.  Like father, like son; like mother, like daughter.  

You both also ditched your bottles this month in favor of sippy cups.  It’s actually pretty impressive that you guys are capable of holding the cup, deciding when to drink from it, and feeding yourselves.  This is also important because it allows your mommy and me to ignore you for a few extra minutes a day so we can do really important stuff like text people and/or look at Facebook/Twitter.

Other stuff to memorialize from this month:

·       You now both have two teeth

·       You both now talk up a storm.  Your favorite sound is “da” which is nice because when you say it repeatedly, it becomes a series of “dada’s”

·       You’re still fantastic sleepers

·       You both went to your first visits to the doctor for being sick.  You’ve had a cold that won’t go away, but besides the ridiculous amount of snot, it doesn’t seem to affect either of you

·       I wouldn’t say Summer’s stranger danger issues are officially gone, but you seem to be dealing much better with new people and crowds.  You’re well on your way to becoming the social butterfly we all know you’re going to be

The Perks of Being a Mom

Sometimes being a mom is hard work. 

I've been covered in vomit, pee, poop, snot and weird unidentifiable goopy substance that came from somewhere on my kid's body. 

I've been strolling through Target where the only sound that could be heard for miles is the shrill ear-splitting scream of my darling baby girl.
Do I stop my shopping and admit defeat?  Hell no.  It's go time. They're having a sale on Krispy Kremes and there are new Halloween Sprinkles in the dollar bins. 
Shriek on, little one.

Along with the obvious joy of having children that are gorgeous geniuses, and aside from the strange bodily fluids, there are some pretty cool things about being a mom.

1.  You now have free rein of the Carpool Lane.  So long suckers...I get to drive somewhere faster than you because I'm carpooling with babies.

2.  You can ask for a free toy/cookie/balloon for your kids and reap the benefits of having babies with no teeth.  Thank you Publix supermarkets. 

3.  I now have a stroller that can hold two babies, a diaper bag, a full day's worth of a shopping haul, a large diet coke and an ice cold Frappucino.  Stop and ask me about my amazing stroller.  You won't be the first.

4.  Allow me to introduce you to my Marc by Marc Jacobs Pretty Eliza Diaper bag.  Need I say more?

5.  You can now rightfully judge those women you see as unfit mothers because you have experience.

6.  You can compete with other moms to see whose baby hits different milestones first.  And if it's not your baby...well that other baby can suck it.

7.  Baby shoes.  Tiny, absolutely pointless, probably serve no purpose but to destroy my child's feet before he can walk, baby shoes.

8.  Accessories.  Babies are like accessories with accessories.  Double the fun.

9.  You get to plan a 1st birthday EXTRAVAGANZA!  And all of the other birthdays.  And each year you get to add a zero to the end of the budget from the previous year ensuring that your child will have a Bar or Bat Mitzvah priced in the millions.  If you're not Jewish, seriously consider converting when you have kids.  Did someone just say themed party with a candy table??

10.  And really, one of THE only reasons to have babies.  Tushies.

And don't forget the most important thing about being a mom.  You're still you.  You can still do all of the things you did before you became a mom. 

Do I still lean my head out the window and honk and whistle while the high school boy's Cross Country team runs by?  Hell yes I do.

How to be an Awesome Mom

You might be wondering how I do it every day with two babies that are the same age.  Let me tell you, it's a lot easier than you think.  All it takes is a little patience, a dash of love and a ton of awesome.

Just follow these 10 simple steps:
1.  Do "work" on your computer when your kids are playing so you don't notice when one spits up so that when you look up 5 minutes later there is spit up smeared across the entire playmat and both your children's faces.

2.  When your kids pee on their outfit, gauge how long it will take to dry and compare that to how long it will take you to pick out a new outfit.  Then ignore what I just said because math is hard and let your kid play in his pee pee outfit.

3.  Laugh when your kids fart because it's never going to stop being funny.

4.  Even though you're not leaving the house, change your child's outfit 8 times or until you find something slimming.

5.  When your kids are sick, don't fret.  Sickness comes with snot bubbles.  Snot bubbles are funny like farts.

6.  Teach your children early how to spend smart by taking them on multiple shopping trips a week.  Say it with me AM-EX AM-EX...good babies.

7.  Use nap time wisely by watching reruns of Party of Five.  You should never try to do something productive because as soon as you do, nap time over.

8.  Always wear white when feeding your babies.

9.  Try all the baby food.  Just don't let the babies see you gag on the "Spring Vegetable Mix."

10.  Never stop taking photos of your kids to remember all of the little moments.  Like when you're holding a spoon of sweet potato puree up to your child's mouth and he sneezes.

Seven Months of Diapers x 2

Another monthly post from Josh for your reading pleasure...

Austin and Summer,

When I was a kid, I used to have a recurring dream.  It was the only one I ever had, and I could never figure out why I had it.  I would be running (which was odd, because I never ran any distance longer than a fewer hundred feet at a time back then) and my legs would get so tired that they essentially stopped functioning and I would have to grab only stationery objects and propel myself forward in order to keep going.  If I had a psychic with a crystal ball analyze those dreams, she probably would have told me that it meant I was stuck in a rut and desperately trying to work my way out of it.  But I was like 12 years old, happy as can be, without a problem or worry in the world, so clearly that wasn’t the case.  What’s odd is that ever since I started actually running, that dream has never made a re-appearance.  I guess I’ll never know what those dreams meant or if they meant anything at all, but I’ve been reminded of them watching you two recently.  You’re just on the brink of crawling, but instead of actually being able to move yourselves along the ground to wherever you want to go, you’re still in that stage where you lie on your stomachs, push with all your might with your arms and legs, but the only thing that happens is you flop around like a seal going nowhere.  It’s pretty damn cute, but we know it’s not going to last for long and any day now your mom and I are going to be chasing you around the house as you crawl in opposite directions from one another, wreaking as much havoc as possible.  Ahh, good times on the horizon. 

Onto other news from this month, you’ve both become champion eaters.  Summy, you even eat the green stuff at this point, although every so often you do some really dramatic gagging motion/noise combination to let us know that you’re ready for the sweet stuff now, please.  You’re just like your mommy, except that she’s old enough to just skip straight to the Krispy Kremes without having to fake it on the veggies.  Austin, you’re pretty much like daddy.  You’ll just sit there quietly awaiting your next bite, not really caring so much what it is as long as it’s going in your stomach. 

You’ve also become experts at sitting up.  Watching you guys “play together” while you sit up and grab different toys is an amazing treat for me and your mom.  The best part of it is how your personalities shine through.  Summer, since the day you were born, you’ve been our sweet, soft little princess.  I literally used the word “dainty” in the email I sent to everyone to announce your births only hours after we met you.  I don’t think there’s a word in the English language to better describe you.  When you pick up a toy, you’re like a girl from finishing school picking up her afternoon tea.  You hold it ever so softly, as if it might break if you grabbed it hard.  Austin, you’re a boy’s boy.  You’re like a wrecking ball, smashing and grabbing everything in your path with full force.  Your intentions are sweet as can be, but it’s pretty funny to watch you both sit with the same bucket in between you and have Austin grab it out of the way and dumb everything everywhere while Summer sits sweetly across from you and can only watch it all happen. 

And the newest phenomenon in our happy little household is that our beautiful, sweet baby girl now wakes up in the morning with her face smelling like a combination of urine and sweaty old shoes.  It’s subtle enough that you can’t smell it unless you kiss your face, but when you lean in for that kiss, man it hits you like a ton of bricks.  Somehow it hasn’t stopped me from kissing you a million times a day, but if this keeps up we might have to start you on the perfume a few years earlier than anticipated. 

One last thing about our smelly little princess.  This month, you developed some serious “stranger danger” issues.  Unless you are very familiar with the people around you, you tend to cling to me or your mommy, and there have been a fair amount of waterworks when new people are around.  One really sweet byproduct of this is that every time we leave the house, right when we walk out the door you bury your head into whoever is holding you.  It’s kind of like you want an extra bit of protection as you go out into this big, new world.  Hopefully soon you’ll realize that we’re here to protect you, but every once in a while it’s nice for us (read: your mom) to get a break from holding/watching you all day long.  We promise to keep you safe if you promise you keep us sane.    

I’ll check in with you guys again next month.  Thanks for keeping us feeling young. 

Love,

Daddy

P.S.  You both also started to get teeth this month.  Austin, you currently have one and Summer has two.  There’s not much exciting to write about teeth other than that they exist, so this is really just meant to document something important that happened this month.  And that’s all.  Goodbye again until next time.

A Book Review: Where is Baby's Belly Button by Karen Katz

I know many of you turn to me for answers to your many questions regarding baby knowledge, product reviews and general know-how. And I know that my knowledge pretty much surpasses what the average human being is capable of retaining.

My last book review got about 800,000 hits so I figure it's time for another.
I recommend you grab on to the seat of your pants for this one.  This is one of my all time favorite books as it combines mystery with surprise, and even a little humor.  What more could you ask for in a piece of quality literature?

I now give you, Where is Baby's Belly Button? by Karen Katz.

I love a book that grabs your attention from first glance.  I know you shouldn't judge a book by it's cover but I just can't help myself.  It's a tad innocent, some might say coy, a little bit sexy...need I say more?

The action begins right from the first page.

I know, right? Where ARE baby's eyes?  I'm so intrigued.

Shut the f*ck up!  You didn't see that one coming, did you?

I get lost in the beautiful pictures and gripping story line.  It's like the book reaches way down within my soul and introduces me to questions I've never posed before.

Oh, Karen Katz.  You genius, you.

The book gets more intriguing and the many surprises are endless.

Seriously?  How does she come up with this stuff?

Holy hell!  I didn't even think to look behind the cat.  The wheels in my head are turning.  Seriously turning.  I just can't put it down.  I don't even have words.  But thank God Karen Katz does.

I know you don't normally give away the end of a story during a book review but I simply can't help myself.  And I know you're all dying to know what happens.  Here's where the mystery is completely unveiled and you just sit there thinking about it for days.

Up until this point, we've just been searching for parts of the baby.  But wait for it...

That's right folks.  We're searching for the whole damn baby.

I'm not going to tell you what happens although I'm sure you're at the edge of your seat.  But I'll tell you one thing, it's worth reading.  There's a total plot twist. 

If you're still sitting at your computer, get off your butt and go grab Where is Baby's Belly Button by Karen Katz.  It changed my life.  You won't be disappointed.

Happy 4th of July

To all who are able to enjoy your independence today, go forth and eat some processed, grilled meat.

This is how we pose, bitches.