I am Not Wonderwoman But I am Still The Queen of the World

My life is awesome.  I have it pretty damn good.  Some days however, everyone just feels peed on, you know?  Some days I feel like I can take on the world and other days I cry because I don't have clean underwear.  So today I'd like to offer a humble post of things that I am no longer capable of doing as my pregnant self.

1. I can't button sweaters-not even the one button under the boobs.  Luckily I've packed on some winter blubber so I no longer feel the need to button sweaters.  But I have this really cute little yellow sweater that ties in a bow that I can no longer wear.  I miss you yellow sweater.  And I still love you.  You're just made for the me that had abs.

2.  I can't eat like it's Thanksgiving- I don't really know where my stomach is anymore.  I'm assuming it's somewhere above my butt or in my throat.  Either way, it doesn't hold as much as it used to.  It's super sad really, because second helpings aren't as much of an option anymore.  And I actually have to save room for dessert.  Who wants to plan ahead like that?  I just want to eat like a pig and then complain about how fat I am to Josh later.  Is that too much to ask

3.  I can't remember important things- like right now I can't remember the example I was going to type here to explain how I can't remember things.

4. I can't say the F word enough- I don't know what it is but there is nothing like the F word.  It is the best word ever.  It's a noun, verb, adjective, expletive...It's F-ing amazing.  I know there will be a time when my children will be able to talk and repeat what I say.  Luckily I have a few more months before I have to think about making an F-ing change.

5.  I can't see my lady parts-  Sure I can look in the mirror, but it's just not the same.  Where did my cooch go?  I feel so alone in the world.

6.  I can't remember a time I felt so grateful for all of the "can'ts."  Not being able to do these things mean that I get to do so many other things soon with my little twinkadinks and their amazing dad.  I can't F-ing wait.  

I can't believe how long it's been since I've sucked in for a picture.